Tangled Up in Everything

Today I'm working on my Squarespace site, applications for performance gigs, applications for playwriting workshops, recording some new demos, and scheduling residency work as a teaching artist. It's a pretty normal workload for a freelancer. Rather than making to-do lists, I attack everything at once with 20 tabs open in my browser, flitting from screen to screen while I update, apply, respond, record, and edit. This happens to me every August, between the end of Summer employment and the start of Fall. I try to set myself up for a full, exciting, and successful year while drinking cup after cup of hazelnut anxiety, all the while wondering if this is the year I'll finally take my friend up on his offer to come sell computer software at his company and put the artistic pursuits on the back burner.  But the promise of that magical e-mail with "Congratulations!" in the subject line keeps me tangled up in everything artistic, magical, dirty, difficult, and beautiful.